I have this episodes of rapid flashbacks and wake-up slaps very very often. They're as if because I am unconsciously pulled into dreamy state, too quick, too subtle and that I need the constant shake. I think just moments ago I told myself I want to be a better person then, too soon after that monologue I slowly regress to the state of amnesia. It applies to many occasions not just spiritual matter. I am a big dreamer but a realist not. My enthusiasm is like a floating ball in the ocean, disappear after each beat of the wave, reappear as the ocean decides to be calmer. That is literally how weak I am.
Baby step, Emey. Baby step. For today, I start by hiding all those un-hijab-ed photos of mine on Facebook.
Second, to plaster a note for everyday reminder...
"I want to become a better muslimah."
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