I have no words to describe the feelings associated with the recent events. I am still trying to dissect the events, like counting every thread of my hair. I am somehow move on with life, I am occupying myself with plans, painting, drawing, doctoring, I am excited with this new journey, new phase of life, new goal, bigger dream, more dreams (when was it the last time I did something for myself??) but...

subconsciously I left my pieces of my mind in the past. Of how good it was to have familiar soul comforting at every end of the day, having a 'certain' destiny (though nothing is certain in our hands, somehow, we had a plan), now the world is too big to be explored alone, too many days ahead will be spent growing apart, would we change our minds later? would we still love each other?

It bothers me, it saddened me that  it had been great, but... thats it, done. fin. I cried because all the good days are now just one of those days, not be relived in the future, not pieces of memories I could happily tell to my children. Will I even have children?

We have made the decisions. It's time to live with the decision we made. Reason why? We need to improve ourselves. We need to be two separate souls before we could be one happy couple, only if we found our way back.