Okayyyyy, so...

So, this is how it feels like to be employed.
Having to wake up every morning,
having to attend to jobs,
having to finish of piling workloads,
having to communicate to colleagues,
having responsibilities, now I am adult,
andddd having to take responsibility when you made mistakes,
having to ask for help, and rejected
getting paiddddd,
taxes and pension, oh wait, what?

So, this is how it feels like to be a doctor.
Having to tend to patients' needs,
having to answer to nurses' requests,
having to follow the seniors' orders,
no excuses to avoid doing things you avoided throughout medschool,
facing the unknown,
facing the fear of might me causing harm to others,
facing difficult patient (but I need to do my job),
facing the risk of getting told off,
being told off (duhh you're a junior),
being vomited at, poo'ed at, pee'd at,
blood stain on your shirt and new shoes,
then patients said "Thank you, doctor"
"You saved my life."
Oh I did nothing, just poke you with needles everyday,
patient you saw suffering now
brighter and brighter every day,
talking to an old granny felt like talking to my late grandmama,
a motherly patient who spoke to you like she's the mother of you,
ahh the ups and downs, so worth it.

So, this is how it feels like to live in a foreign land,
completely alone, on your own,
no familiar faces,
no old souls you've known all along,
where do I get chicken?
where's the best coffee shops here?
how do I go to town?
what is there to do here?
no more favourite sushi shop,
no more favourite briyani place,
every roads confuses me,
where the hell am I?

So, this is life now.
It's different, it's new.
It's like starting over.
I am excited, I am scared, I am happy, I am sad.
I have so many feelings, it's overwhelming.