Hearts & Souls.

Not each one is the same. Not one heart, not one mind, not one personality. I am ultimately thankful with the small group of souls that my soul is attached to. They are the one who could see through me, who have seen the goods and the bads of me and who could read my haywired mind. They are to whom I don't have to be somebody I am not. They are the ones I'll sacrifice time and energy for.

The dilemma here is I wish I am friendlier, not a slow ice breaker and have a thousand friends. Because I despise loneliness, I wish I always have a person next to me. I never learnt the meaning of loneliness until I got this far away from home and my family and my childhood best friends. And in this very country I learn the meaning of being surrounded by people yet feeling so alone.

Kalau ramai-ramai kawan tapi tak terlayan pastu sakitkan hati orang buat apa kan? Because the more hearts you're trying to learn, the less time you have, the hearts wont feel like home. A Malay idiom sounds something like yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong berciciran. As I said, I am a slow ice breaker. I prefer face to face conversation, one person to one person, I prefer a exchange of thoughts over coffee and biscuits, I prefer a quiet time together reading books, and I'd so much prefer not to go out in big big groups especially odd numbered group.

So, I'll stick to what I have. With His blessings, I'd meet souls who understand me and keep me companied. Or sometimes, lonely heart can be contented with quiet time alone thinking of life and its existence, ya know like, looking at stars and utter Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahuakbar.  'Coz He's always there.